What is deeply longed for and often feared simultaneously, is already this what is and isn’t. Whatever that is appearing, is what is and isn’t. It is not somewhere out there to find or to be discovered (there isn’t even an out there). It is already this, as it is. It is the perfect companion that is always and everywhere around. It is this: toggling sounds from a keyboard, words on a screen, reading, breathing, background noises. It is what is and isn’t. It is totality.
What is and isn’t, is all there is, apparently. Not as a concept to apply or as an understanding or as a handle to add to yourself and used to navigate through life – not to have or to hold, or experience a better life. There simply is already no you and life. There is just life, apparently happening, for no one, for no reason or purpose.
Seeing that this is it, that this is enough, is liberation. It’s the apparent end of that dreamed experience that goes along with the dreamed experiencer, the doer, the me, the person, the ego, the “I am”, consciousness, awareness – they are all empty labels, made up of that same dream.
The “I am” dream — “I am not good enough”, “it seems that there is something missing, so I am on a path to look for a better experience and find what is missing, so I can be more complete and will finally be good enough”. So looking for something else seems to happen and that is a scenario doomed to failure – there are no things nor is there something else, or missing, all there is (and that is a lot) is this what is and isn’t. It is totality.
However… When that dreamed separate dualistic reality, suddenly and for no reason seems to be no more, seems to evaporate in the whole – then it is seen by no one, that there never was someone to begin with. So no one will ever wake up to this.
This is all there is and ever was, apparently – and there never ever was a you in it. When all is lost there is just nothing, that’s everything. And then this what is and isn’t, is already complete, is already good enough. The ordinary is extraordinary.
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